Motivation in the unexpected gift of a 35mm film camera

National Park Service Ranger and her bike at the Ocracoke Lighthouse, Outer Banks, NC

Over the past few years, I’ve attempted to dip my toe into 35mm film photography, but it never quite stuck. I’ve been enjoying my In an Instant project, but the delayed gratification of a roll of film was proving too much for my patience. And then a box arrived in the mail containing a camera bag stuffed with lenses, flashes, and a near mint Canon ae-1. A friend had recently lost their stepdad and the family wanted the camera to find a home that would love it. All the sudden, my desire for instant gratification of a digital image was surpassed by a wish to honor the memory of a special man. I loaded the camera with a roll of Kodak Ultramax 400 and started shooting.

Taking photographs on film is a slow, thoughtful process. There are no visual cues on a film camera to help you get it right,…. no live view or histogram to check your exposure, no level or gridlines to help with composition, no LCD playback, no record of what you photographed 10 minutes ago…. Photographing on film requires paying attention and being entirely present. In some ways film is full of kindness and in others it’s unforgiving. But in the end, there is beauty in the imperfection. There is a rawness to film that even an intentionally out of focus digital image can’t achieve.

Here are the 37 images I took on the first roll of film. A few mistakes- missed focus, an accidental shutter release, and one where I completely forgot to focus the lens. The first roll left me feeling like a beginner in awe of what I had just created. The wonder at whether the moon would be recorded visibly over the lighthouse. The joy at seeing the beautiful green color of spring at the Norfolk Botanical Gardens and the delight at spotting the outline of a bumblebee dancing among the flowers.

These images were taken with a Canon ae-1 film camera, Canon 50 mm f1.8 lens, and a roll of Kodak Ultramax 400 film. There is no retouching, save for straightening a few because I can embrace imperfection, but not a crooked horizon line.